Women don’t typically find themselves in sex relationships, so this post reaches out to a small segment if the population. When two people go into a situation like that with both eyes wide open, you both know that the timer is counting down to the eventual boom of implosion (or in some cases, explosion).
So why do we waste time with things that we are certain will end? We want a connection and are willing to take the eventual hurt, pain or in some cases, ambivalence, to have it.
We do it all the time though: staying in dead end jobs or relationships, remaining friends with individuals that do nothing but take advantage. There is a draw in that interaction that has us holding on for dear life and unwilling to let go or change. The premise is the same: change is difficult. What incentive is there to change things if there is nothing to change TO? It is a fair question. I don’t pretend to know the answers, only to verbalize the questions. What is funny though is that no matter how hard you try, change has a way of sneaking up on you and saying, “Ha! Gotcha, bitch!” Doesn’t it?
With that sexual relationship, it comes as no surprise that the reality crashes in and forces your hand. It could be any number of things that makes an all sex relationship go awry: lack of interest, too much interest, new love interest (one they really have emotions for)… but in your mind, you have to be ready for these many scenarios.
I make no qualms about it; my heart isn’t into love at all – this had been a rough road for me - but it is easy to care for and about someone and have that sensibility screw up the dynamic between you and your lover. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Should you not care? You could, but that makes for really unfulfilling sex. I mean, hell, if you are gonna do it, at least it should be pleasurable. But you can never give too much of yourself. The stopper must be at hand at all times. A world of hurt awaits otherwise.
Is it any wonder why I like reading and writing romance so much? Ideal love gives me hope, so while I wait…