Olivia’s Story (Parts 1 & 2)

Rainy days like today often made me think about my former life in America. It wasn’t the rain itself, but the dreary nature that it could leave in its wake. I had such high hopes living there, thinking that everything was going perfectly. Perfect, I thought, was such a lie. I pressed a hand to the window to feel the sensation of wind and water hitting the glass. This is why I ended up here in Tokyo.

“Hey…” a voice inquired softly from behind me. I knew whose voice it was.

“Hey, Yuki…” I said, my voice relaying an unconscious sadness. I turned to look at my friend and bartender Yuki Shimamura. He was one of my few real friends here in the city and just a good guy in general. From the look of things, he recently dyed his hair yet another outrageous color. “What’s up?”

It wasn’t too busy in the micro-bar today, particularly with the torrential downpour outside, so he came and sat in the seat facing me.

“Hey beautiful,” he said, obviously trying to make me smile. Yuki called me that often, just a little something sweet between friends. “What’s going on in that mind of yours?”

I gave him a wistful smile, turning to look out at the street again. The train tracks were directly facing the bar and even with the poor weather, they passed by with surprising regularity. “I’m just doing a little remembering, that’s all.”

“New York?”

“Yeah…” He was one of the few people that knew the story of what happened in New York and the reason why I ran quite literally to Japan.

Just over five years ago, I was working in New York as a singer. It was a source of great joy for me; I got to do what I loved every day. That all started to change when I met him. David. He was a gorgeous black man with glistening hazel eyes, strong masculine features and an incredibly fit body. From looks alone, he was enough to make most women swoon, but he was a charmer above all else. He worked his charm in his business deals — he worked in real estate — and in his private interactions. It baffled me for ages as to why he and I clicked so well. He and I met at a jazz club down in the Village where I was performing for the night. It all seemed so magical for the better part of a year, but then everything changed overnight.

I was so head over heels in love with him that I moved into his Williamsburg loft as his girlfriend / sex slave. He did to me unmentionable things, unnatural things… that even to this day, I couldn’t bring myself to relive in my mind. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I stopped singing, taking care of my body, seeing my family. It was all about David and it consumed me. It was when things became physical that I seriously considered leaving him, but it was so hard. How could I possibly go back to my family in that broken state? Would my friends even forgive me for bailing on them? One night, he came home a little drunk; I smelled the scent of woman’s perfume on his clothing as he walked by me. It was a very vivid memory — my last night in David’s house.

“Come here,” he told me, gesturing with his finger to come into the bedroom. His eyes were narrow and ominous looking. I went to him, trained as I was to see to his needs. He grabbed me as I entered the bedroom at the neck, choking me.

“You think I’m stupid, don’t you Liv?” He braced me against the wall with one strong hand and started stripping me with the other. “I saw you out with that guy tonight.”

He eased his fingers to hear me speak when he saw me shake my head. “I was here all night tonight, D… ” His jealousy knew no bounds.

“Liar!” he screamed, slapping me hard in the face. I felt my cafe au lait skin stinging and didn’t need to look in the mirror to see it was red. “Bitch! You have fucked with me for the last time. You think I’m stupid, don’t you?”

“No!” I denied, struggling against him so that he could release me. “I haven’t done anything!”

David grew darker. “Yeah, you haven’t done anything alright..” he muttered to himself, but I heard every word. “You’re gonna pay for lying to me, Olivia.” He flung me across the room onto the bed where I hit the headboard and blacked out for a short while. When I came to, he was on top of my naked body like a dark, destroyed angel… raping me. My mouth was bound shut with a cloth, as were my arms, which were tied to the bedposts. I struggled and struggled, but there was nothing I could do. Here was the man I cared about above all others, enough to forsake everything, and this was what he did to me. I cried inside more than out, praying the nightmare would be over soon, but he took hours and hours, leaving me by myself to go have a smoke, then return to fuck me some more. It was pure, unadulterated torture. At daybreak, he stared at my battered and used body from the bedroom door for a moment, then closed it behind him. I heard the front door close next, and I knew he had left.

I somehow found the strength to unbind one hand, then another. The last thought in my mind was to call the police; I just needed to run, to get out of there and never come back. Through the window, I could see the falling rain and my subconscious mind hoped desperately that Mother Nature had enough power to cleanse me. I grabbed my emergency bag (God bless my mother in all her infinite wisdom) and my cell phone, and ran. It was the last time I saw him or uttered his name.

“Olivia, I think its time,” said Yuki, reaching out for my hand, warmth and reassurance filtering beneath my skin. “You’ve done so well here in Tokyo, made so much progress these last four years. Remember? You came here not knowing a word of Japanese, and now look at you!”

As much as I tried, I couldn’t help but feel a tear falling down my cheek. “Yuki, you know you saved me, right? If I hadn’t met you that day, if I–” He pressed a fingertip to my lips, shushing me.

“You saved yourself by getting out of there and running. I am just grateful that I was able to help, and gain a wonderful friend in the process,” Yuki said with certainty, brushing away the hair from my face. “You remind me of my sister sometimes. She has such strength in her eyes, but inside there is that fragility that makes me want to take care of her.”

I closed my eyes for a moment. I didn’t want to be fragile ever again. It was something I had worked on quite consciously since arriving in Japan. “I know I’ve said it before, but… thank you.”

Yuki smiled widely, squeezing my hand wordlessly. In the corner of his eye, he saw a couple of new customers enter, and I knew he had to get back to work. He winked and stood, disappearing behind the bar.

While Yuki was probably right about it being time, was I ready to get back out there? Had my mind and soul healed enough to be in a relationship again? I had to test the waters in a noncommittal fashion to see. I knew I was still a pretty woman and it took a while for me to remember that. I used to look in the mirror and only see a battered face. Now, each morning when I looked in the mirror, it was my chocolate brown eyes and rich skin that I saw. It was my long, straight, highlight-kissed hair that framed my face and pouty kissable lips. I was happy in Tokyo and I wanted it to stay that way.

*****

The next evening, Yuki invited me to eat dinner at the Shimamura house. This happened quite often; I spent time in Japan living with them and I worked for his father. He sponsored me for a work visa, which allowed me to stay as long as I had. Only in the last year had I moved into a place of my own. I was basically the Shimamura’s foster daughter. We went together and as soon as the door opened and we shouted our greetings that we had arrived, I saw a whirlwind of blond streaked hair fly through the sliding door.

“Olivia!” shouted the reed-thin female at the door. “It’s been a while!”

“Minami…” I stepped in and hugged her tightly. She became like a sister to me and for a while, we did all the girly things together. It was because of her that my Japanese improved. She studied with me for hours and hours on end. Minami single-handedly made me feel like a female again. “I saw you a few days ago!”

She pouted, crossing her arms. “Yeah, a few DAYS ago.” Then she laughed hard. Her effervescent personality was infectious; I started laughing too.

“Don’t worry, we have a date tomorrow, right?” I always had to confirm with Minami because of her dating life. She was a freelance dater, as I liked to call her. Her motto was really just to have a good time and make men spend money on her. She was beautiful, definitely, but what most men didn’t get about her was the intelligence beneath the “blonde bombshell”. She was incredibly smart.

“Of course! Come on, let’s go eat. I’m starving…”

The three of us went into the family room where three people were waiting. My boss, Hiroshi, was seated at the table drinking a beer. His wife, Megumi, stood next to him talking briefly. The two were such an unusual couple compared to regular Japanese families. Typically, the husband didn’t stay at home much and gave his wife lots of room to do whatever she wanted. It was a hands-off approach to marriage. However, Hiroshi and Megumi not only respected each other, but loved each other tremendously. At home, there was no shame in a stolen kiss or a walk in the park together. What was amazing still was how long they had been together. 35 years. It was beautiful to see, and the kind of example I needed to be around after all that had happened. Good things could happen in male-female relationships.

“Good evening, Boss… Megumi-san…” I said with a slight bow. I called Hiroshi-san “boss” no matter where I went. It was the running joke of the household.

The third person in the room was another man seated next to Hiroshi-san’s left. He appeared to be in his early 30s with dark, cropped stylized hair. He was dressed in a salaryman suit, so perhaps he worked for Hiroshi-san. His form appeared slim, but salaryman suits were deceiving that way. Overall, he was a rather handsome man. Gentlemanly, he stood to greet me.

“So you are Olivia,” he started in somewhat rocky sounding English. “My name is Hideki Maeda. It is nice to finally meet you.” He bowed, a bit deeper than was warranted.

I was a little flustered, only because it sounded like he knew a lot more about me than the other way around. “Um, nice to meet you too,” I said purposely in English, then switching to Japanese, I added, “It’s okay to speak in Japanese if that is more comfortable. I’m used to it.”

I turned to look at Yuki briefly and realized that he made eye contact with this man Maeda-san. They knew each other, I felt it deep down. Minami was cheerful and oblivious as ever though.

Maeda-san smiled at my statement, and for a moment, I was blindsided by a short-circuit in my heartbeat. He had a power smile, not the charming kind like you know who, but just utterly genuine. He gave me another short nod of the head, then retook his seat and resumed his conversation with the Boss.

“Megumi-san, can I help you bring the food out?” I offered automatically, taking my eyes higher to meet hers.

“Of course, Olivia. Please…” her soft-spoken voice replied, outstretched hand posing to the kitchen. Once in the kitchen, I knew I had to get the details about what was going on. If anyone knew, it was her… but she beat me to it.

“Olivia, you know we all care about you tremendously,” she started, patting my shoulder and urging me to sit on the nearby stool. “Yuki has been worried about you.”

I sighed. Of course, Yuki would be part of this plot. “It’s just the weather and this time of the year… my memories… you know.” She nodded. “I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do next, about my future lately.”

She knelt down to me and braced her hands on my knees. “I’m so happy to hear you are considering your future. You know you are like a daughter to me, Olivia. I want to see you happy — we all do.”

“So… who exactly is Maeda-san?” I had to ask the question; it was the 800 pound gorilla in the room.

Megumi-san smiled enigmatically. She stood and began handing me dishes to carry out. “You will see shortly. Just one thing… keep an open mind, okay?”

Uh, oh, I thought. But, I knew for sure that Megumi-san wouldn’t lead me into anything I couldn’t handle, so it couldn’t be that bad… right?

We went back into the eating area and laid the food out family-style. Yuki sat across from Maeda-san forming a triangle of males at one end. I took my seat next to Yuki and Minami sat across from me. Megumi-san sat at the other end of the table. It took no prompting for the eating to commence, as we all said our “itadakimasu”.

Eating at the Shimamura table once again brought a sense of calm to me. It was familiar and comfortable, even with an extra face at the table. Minami talked about her latest dating expedition with me and her mother, while the men chatted amongst themselves about business and world affairs. One thing that brought us all together was the conversation about the food. Megumi-san used to run a restaurant with the Boss many years ago before she had Yuki. It was thirty years ago, but cooking for her children every day still retained that restaurant quality. I could feel eyes on me from time to time, and the next time I caught it, it was the guest at the table looking me over. I lowered my eyes back to my food for a moment, then back up to Minami’s, who was more than willing to make easy conversation.

It was the Boss’ comment caught on the sly that made my head turn toward him.

“… yes, Olivia has a beautiful voice,” he said to Maeda-san. “It was luck that brought her to us.”

I had never sung in front of the Shimamura’s before, not that I recalled. Perhaps I went to karaoke with Minami once or twice, but never with any level of seriousness. How did he know I could still sing?

“Boss…” I said softly, “how?”

He put down his chopsticks and looked at me with softened eyes. “Your sleep used to be uneasy, Olivia. At night, I would play a jazz CD and it calmed you. Every once in a while, you would sing with the songs in your sleep.”

I was speechless, as was everyone else at the table. By their eyes, I knew they all knew. My eyes began to water, memories of my prior life trickling back into the forefront. I just couldn’t do it in that moment. “I’m sorry… please excuse me.” I covered my mouth, disappearing down the hall to the bathroom.

The Shimamura’s had been so kind to me over the last few years, and I knew they meant well. It was all just so raw suddenly. I hadn’t really sung in years, stopped doing it for fear it would lead to the same disaster that nearly destroyed me. I sat on the floor of the bathroom, crying my heart out, until I heard a knock at the door. My sobbing caught in my throat.

“Olivia?” It was Maeda-san. I couldn’t possibly talk to him. “Olivia, listen. I’ll be honest here. I don’t quite understand why singing makes you cry. And I’m really here to meet you. Yuki is a good friend of mine from school and he thought we would hit it off.”

He was silent for a second or two, and I could hear him slide down against the door to sit on the floor. “Maybe what you could use is a friend right now, a different ear than your family here. They all love you, you know that right? All Hiroshi-san can talk about sometimes is “his” Olivia.”

That made me want to cry even more.

Despite my lack of response, he continued. “I know you don’t know me, but from what Yuki has told me about you, you’ve been through a lot. He didn’t go into any details of course, but he did say that you needed someone that could be gentle with you.” I listened, not that I had much of a choice. My tears had slowed, and the headache was beginning. “I’m not going to presume that I’m the right man for the job, but I can tell when someone needs a friend at the very least.”

I was baffled at his offer, and I couldn’t help what came out of my mouth. “Why would you want to be friends with someone as broken as me?”

“Broken?” he said, testing the word. “I don’t think you are broken, Olivia. There is nothing wrong with you.” I opened my eyes and turned my head to face the door. “That isn’t the woman I saw walk into this house tonight. What I saw was a warm, beautiful and confident woman come in. And even if you don’t feel like that on the inside sometimes, that is what you have to believe for yourself.”

I sighed at his insight. Could his words really be genuine? I couldn’t keep doing this to myself, that much I knew. I stood to look at myself in the mirror, at my tear streaked cheeks and red, puffy eyes. Enough was enough. I turned on the water and washed my face.

“Olivia?” He was still sitting there waiting for me.

I dried my face and took a deep breath. “I’m okay.” I opened the door and looked down at Maeda-san. “I’m okay.” He promptly stood and faced me. He was taller than I expected, probably good 3 or 4 inches taller than me.

“Are you sure?” he said softly. He did a Yuki move and brushed away a stray hair from my face.

I nodded, suddenly shaken by his concern. He seemed like a good guy, this Hideki Maeda. “I think so.”

He held out his crooked arm, his unspoken gesture urging me to loop my arm through his. There was no harm in it, so I did it. As we walked down the hallway, I noticed his warmth and the scent of sandalwood coming from him. It soothed me and allowed my headache to subside. We returned to the table, where everyone sat silently. It didn’t look as if they had touched their food; they were waiting for me to come back.

“I’m so sorry about that, everyone,” I apologized for my sudden disappearance. I turned to my Boss. “Thank you for soothing me when I didn’t even realize.” Wordlessly, he nodded in acknowledgment.

Minami reached out for my hand, her eyes glistening with tears. “Nee-san, don’t worry about it! That’s what family is for, right? To help each other.”

Somehow, God knew I needed this family. They were quite possibly the best human beings I’d ever known. I nodded my head at Minami’s comment and gave her a beaming smile. “Let’s eat!”

We fell back into our conversations with ease, this time Maeda-san kept asking me lots of questions about myself, really simple things like what my favorite color was, what kind of flowers I liked, about the kind of work I do… it was really incredibly innocent and sweet at the same time. I managed to find out some more about him too. He worked in IT as a programmer, and he fully admitted that the suit he had on was the only one in his wardrobe. Before I knew it, we had been sitting at the table for a full two hours and it was time to clean up. I helped Megumi-san and Minami with the dishes while the men kept talking.

“So…?” Nudge, nudge. It came from Minami, of course.

“So… what?” I asked, smiling.

“You KNOW… don’t play dumb with me, Livvy! Hideki-san… whatcha think?” she said at a whisper.

Megumi-san stayed silently washing dishes, but I knew she was listening. “He seems like a nice guy,” I answered honestly. It was true, he did seem to be.

Minami pouted at my non-answer. “O-LI-VI-A,” she said lyrically, “isn’t he HOT?”

I nearly choked on my own breath, my eyes growing wide. “Um, I hadn’t really noticed…” Was it getting hotter in there? My face was growing really warm.

“Uh huh, of course you hadn’t. Of COURSE not!” Wiping her hands on a cloth, she walked toward me and leaned up to whisper in my ear, “He only had eyes for you all night, you know.” And then she walked away. Oooh, that girl!!

As Minami walked through the kitchen door, another head popped in. It was him.

“Hey, Olivia… I was wondering if you wanted to get some fresh air and go for a little walk,” he asked, crooking his head.

It was amazing to feel like a teenager all over again. My heart jumped at the invitation, but when I opened my mouth, nothing came out. Megumi-san was kind enough to jump in for me.

“I can take care of the rest, Olivia. Go and enjoy yourselves,” she encouraged, nodding me in Maeda-san’s general direction.

I nodded mutely, walking past the Maeda-san toward the front door. “We’ll be back… just going for… a walk…” It came out all strange and all I could really do was shake my head at what I was about to do.

I was actually going out… with a man. Never mind that it was just a walk around the neighborhood, but it was incredible progress. I didn’t think I had it in me until now. We put on our light jackets and shoes, trekking out into the starry night. The weather had calmed from its earlier tumult into soft breezes indicative of Fall. We walked in companionable silence onto the quiet streets lined with traditional-looking houses.

“That was a nice dinner,” Maeda-san said softly, glancing over at me. “Mrs. Shimamura is a great cook.”

I smiled at his comments, nodding my head. “Yeah, her food is very homey.”

“So where is home for you, Olivia? Yuki told me that you moved into your own place rather recently.”

Yuki was rather liberal with information about me, wasn’t he? Nothing too invasive, I knew, but still. “It’s not far from here, actually. A 20 minute bus ride… but I still stay here often.”

“So how do you like living on your own? I don’t know if you did in your hometown… where is your hometown, by the way? In America somewhere, I know, but… Yuki didn’t really…”

I stopped walking, closing my eyes. Could I even say the words without it conjuring evilness? He had stopped as well, turning back to look at me. “New York. I was born in New York.” There. I did it!

“Really? I love New York. I went there once on vacation with some friends,” Maeda-san said thoughtfully. “There’s so much to see and experience there.” He suddenly laughed. “Well, maybe not for some of us, otherwise you wouldn’t have ended up here in Tokyo!”

He was really trying to put me at ease, and for that, I had to commend him. “I love it here in Tokyo. I feel like I am at home. I don’t ever want to return to New York.”

Maeda-san’s eyes narrowed at the way I said that, full of a mix of sadness and anger. I could see the questions beating at him, but instead, he smiled and started walking again to which I followed suit. We turned left, heading toward the tree-lined pathway that ran along the stream. It was quiet at night, but well lit for safety purposes.

“Let’s sit and talk for a bit,” he suggested, gesturing to a park bench.

It was incredibly strange, this mix of trepidation and fear. I was trying my best to embrace it, to not let it run me, but I kept wafting between the two. We sat with a comfortable bit of space between us, but his arm braced the top of the bench, his hand landing just behind my head.

“You’ve barely asked anything about me, Olivia,” he joked. “I might take offense if you don’t like me.”

That made me smile. And laugh. I turned to look at him fully, really looked at him. “I do like you, Maeda-san. You were very gentlemanly with me tonight after my.. well, breakdown. That was very sweet of you.”

“Olivia, I hope you don’t think I’m some sort of playboy or something. Far from it,” he said, shaking his head and tilting his lips in a somewhat cute way. “I lead a pretty simple life, simple but happy. Sometimes I get to share a little bit of that happiness. I think that’s why Yuki wanted us to meet.”

My eyes lowered, but he tilted my head back up with a fingertip under my chin. “You’re not afraid, are you? Trust me, I’m harmless… for the most part,” he chuckled.

I had to be straight with this generous man, just as he had been with me so far. “Maeda-san, I just–”

Mid-word, he stopped me. “Hideki, Olivia. You can call me Hideki. It’s okay.”

Another deep breath. “Okay… Hideki. I feel like I need to be straight with you. I.. honestly don’t know if I’m ready for any sort of dating. I don’t want you to get any false expectations from what Yuki may have said. He means well, and he thinks that I should try, but I just… I just don’t know,” I blurted, hoping I didn’t sound like a complete idiot with my bumbling.

“May I ask you something?” I nodded. “How long has it been since you last dated?”

I looked out toward the stream and my memories, the “how long” started to haunt me. “Almost four years.” A tear rolled down my cheek, something I couldn’t help. Before I could look away, Hideki was there brushing away the teardrop.

“Olivia, what could have happened that a beautiful woman like you hasn’t dated in so long?” he asked openly, unable to censor the question. Hideki poked in places that no man outside of the Shimamura family dared to venture. “I find it unbelievable that you haven’t found someone to love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

I didn’t expect him to say that at all. Deserve to be loved? Love didn’t even occur to me anymore other than what I felt for my borrowed family. I didn’t feel like I deserved to be loved, certainly not from a man in a romantic sense. It came down to one thing: trust. How could I love someone or be loved if I didn’t trust them? Trust was earned, but it was also readily broken.

“I don’t know about deserving to be loved, Hideki,” I said, shaking my head. My eyes were sad and lonely looking, I was sure of it. “I need to be able to trust first. I’m afraid I don’t trust easily. Not in a long time.”

He wanted to know so badly, I could see it in his eyes. What happened to me, where I was lead into this sad and dark path. I shook my head and ran both hands through my hair. I couldn’t tell him my story. I didn’t know or trust him enough.

“Hideki, thank you for the walk,” I said blankly, standing. “And I’m sorry.” I tried to turn and walk away, but he reached for my hand.

“Wait,” he begged. Hideki stood before me, a bit closer than before. “Before you disappear, can you do one thing for me?” He waited for my nod and continued at a whisper, “Kiss me, Olivia. Just a simple kiss. I understand you’re not ready for anything like dating, but I want you to know you are desired and are desirable. It has been four long years; I don’t get the feeling you’ve even kissed anyone.” He seemed to speak as a complete stream of consciousness; there’s no way he breathed through it. “Kiss me. I want you to know and remember the power you have. Kiss me…”

My lips trembled, fear reaching my eyes. I looked up at him with wide eyes and saw his determination to prove what he had said, to show me my power. I bit my lip nervously, trying desperately to decide what to do.

“Kiss me, Olivia…” His fingertip brushed my cheek and suddenly he was so incredibly close that I could feel the warmth of his breath. “Kiss me…”

Maybe if I closed my eyes, I could do it, I thought. But how fair was that to Hideki, the one person willing to risk rejection in this way? If I did it, I had to be brave. Grabbing fate by the horns, I rose to my tiptoes with eyes open, my lips a hairsbreadth from his. He didn’t move at all, patiently waiting. I moved in the last few centimeters and pressed my lips to his. They were warm and soft; I really had forgotten the feel against my skin. We stood like that for a little while, our pursed lips pressing tightly together. I was first to take a step back, and was surprised to see Hideki’s half closed eyes open and a smile grace his lips. His eyes… they were chocolate brown like mine.

“That wasn’t so bad, now was it?” he said softly.

I felt suddenly shy, shaken for the second time in the evening by this man and my reaction to him. There was something disarming about him, which wasn’t such a bad thing but completely threw me for a loop. I couldn’t bring myself to answer him.

“Good night, Hideki” was my response as I walked away. Don’t look back, don’t look back…. I turned my head out of sheer curiosity, and there he stood watching me with a smile on his face.

My first kiss in four years… and damned if he wasn’t right. I felt stronger for it.

Two months later…

The snow was falling steadily as I walked toward Yuki’s micro-bar in Shibuya. I hadn’t seen him in a few weeks because I was still a little upset with him over Hideki, but I missed him terribly. I wanted to tell him what I’d been up to lately. Since the incident at the house, I had the fierce need to sing pounding in my brain. I stopped at an Italian restaurant in Harajuku one evening after hearing a live band playing, and anonymously asked to sing with them. It felt so incredibly good to sing again. I stopped having nightmares once the notes were free to live in me once again. I felt happier than I ever had since moving to Japan. I’d been going there regularly since; of course they didn’t know my real name and I intended to keep it that way.

I turned the corner and saw Yuki’s place three shops in. I smiled, knowing he would be happy to know what was happening. I entered and went upstairs; it was still early and the place was empty.

“Irasshai–” said the male voice I knew to be Yuki. His head peeked from around the corner. “Olivia…”

“Yuki…” I stopped, suddenly ashamed that I had kept my distance from my closest friend for so long. “Yuki, I’m so sorry…”

His eyes softened at my apology. He came from behind the bar and wordlessly hugged me. I held him close to me, tears leaking from my eyes.

“Beautiful, you never have to apologize to me,” he said with a smile. “I am just glad you’re okay. I was really worried about you, but… Minami has been my little spy. I knew you would come here when you were ready.”

I smiled, because I knew that already. I’d overheard a conversation Minami had with Yuki a few weeks ago. “I wanted to see you and tell you about some of the stuff that’s been going on.”

He lead me to the spot in front of the bar, since he still had to get ready for service that evening.

“Okay, spill it. All of it, missy.”

I began by telling him I was singing again, then I backtracked just a little bit and told him that I kissed Hideki when we went for that walk.

“Seriously? He hadn’t mentioned it at all to me, that bastard!” he said with mock anger. “He asks about you all the time, you know. But since I haven’t seen you, I haven’t had much to tell him.”

He still asked about me, I wondered, even after how I treated him?

“How is he anyway?” I asked, trying hard to appear not interested, but damn, by Yuki’s smile, he knew me too well.

“He’s alright, working on a new project, so he’s been holed up between home and his office programming,” informed Yuki. “Actually, I invited him here tonight for a drink, but I’m not sure if he’s gonna make it.”

“I see…” Why did my heart skip a beat at the potential of seeing Hideki again?

“So… when do I get to hear my girl sing? I’m curious,” Yuki grinned, handing me my favorite drink: vodka cranberry.

There was no one in the bar, so why not here? “How about right now? Put something on the system.”

I knew about 90% of the music on his system was R&B, and although it wasn’t my normal style, I could sing it. Sure enough, an old Crystal Kay song came up. I didn’t know some of the words, but I could follow. He leaned against the edge of the bar and listened to me sing. Within seconds, I lost myself in the song; it always happened that way. I stood and walked to look outside at the passing train, singing intently, hitting the high-low notes with ease. As the song was coming to an end, I turned back to Yuki only to realize we were no longer alone. Hideki had arrived, a snowy hat in his hand and his eyes locked on mine. My voice trailed off into silence, speechless to see him. I thought I would never see him again after that day.

“Hi…” I greeted softly. Yuki lowered the music to a more ambient level, and out of the corner of my eye saw him put a mug of beer on the counter for Hideki.

“Olivia.”

Oh my God, I’d forgotten what his voice sounded like. My ears were deceiving me; I thought I heard his voice lust-laced as he spoke my name. We didn’t move, just stared at each other for a long minute. I blinked and then finally walked over to take a seat. Before I could say anything, Hideki leaned down and kissed my cheek, his crisp, cold lips warming against my skin. It was quick and smooth.

“It is good to see you. Really good,” he said softly. He removed his jacket, hanging it on the wall behind him. He sat with a stool between us, taking a quaff of his beer. “How have you been?”

I sipped my drink, looking up at Yuki, but he was busy cutting lemons and limes. Knowing him, he was still listening, just letting Hideki and I chat it up. “Okay I guess. I’ve been a little busy lately.”

“So I hear… Yuki has been strangely quiet about you,” Hideki said purposefully, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

Yuki rose his eyes to Hideki’s. “Hey, today’s the first time I’m seeing her in over a month. You knew nothing because I knew nothing.”

The question in my mind bore asking. “You were checking in on me… Hideki?” I took a minute to get a good look at him. He cut his hair into a more simplistic look, but added some blond highlights; he was casually dressed in well-fitting jeans and a beige hoodie. Hideki had his own sense of style, and it was surprising to see especially given the stereotype of his profession. There really was nothing grungy about him.

“I don’t know about checking in on you, but you do cross my mind from time to time,” he readily admitted, smiling. “So you’re singing again… you have a beautiful voice.”

I blushed, lowering my eyes from his for a second and covering my mouth. So Japanese of me, I thought. “Thanks,” I muttered.

“And you’ve changed your hair…” Hideki observed, reaching out to touch the strands. It took a lot of work to get my hair straight given my heritage, but since living in Japan, my hair had done quite well, growing well past my shoulders. I added some extra highlights a couple of weeks back. His fingertips unintentionally touched my neck, and my lips parted in muted surprise.

“Um, yeah…” I breathed, my eyes widening. “I’ve been going to a spot in Harajuku to sing once a week. My look had to change a little bit.”

Hideki smiled, looking at Yuki for a brief moment. “Harajuku, huh? How about some company the next time you go?”

Strangely, I didn’t feel odd about either Yuki or Hideki being present at my next performance. It was a vast difference from our last encounter. “That… could be interesting.”

Hideki released a breath I’m sure he didn’t realize he was holding. He grinned, then held his mug out to me. “To you, Olivia…” I raised my drink and Yuki grabbed his can of soda from the side. “Here’s to doing what you love.” We clinked drinks with a resounding “kanpai”.

It was so much easier to speak with Hideki this time around. Instead of feeling apprehension, I was happy to have someone to speak with. The three of us chatted for a while, until snow-laden customers started to arrive. Yuki would need to work, so I decided to pose a leap of faith question.

“Hideki,” I began, casually touching a hand to his shoulder, “are you hungry? I was thinking of getting some dinner.”

He reached up to his shoulder and took my hand into his, and gave it a little squeeze. “Of course we can grab something. Let’s do it.” While Hideki went to get his coat and hat, Yuki crooked a finger to me, so I leaned in across the bar.

Yuki whispered, “Have fun with Hideki tonight, Liv. He’s a good guy. You deserve it. Remember that.” Then he kissed my temple. I returned the favor and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thanks, big brother,” I said with a smile. My coat was on the stool next to me, so I donned it quickly and met Hideki at the staircase.

“Later, Yuki!” waved Hideki, winking at his friend.

The ground was fully coated with the white stuff at this point, and I was not wearing the right kind of shoes for snow; golden-colored flats didn’t work when two inches of show were already on the ground. Not a brilliant choice of shoes, Liv, I thought to myself.

Once we got to a cross-section, I stopped for a moment. “Hideki, I hate to say this, but can we do this dinner another time? If I stay out too long in this snow, I may as well walk barefoot.” I actually wanted to keep talking with him, so saying it made me a bit sad, even if it was true. Hideki, however, seemed to have an alternative point of view on the whole thing.

Hideki looked down at my feet and gave a moment of pause. “How about this: I can cook us dinner and I only live 15 minutes from here on the train,” he offered. “Or… we could eat out and I could carry you home. But Olivia, I guarantee we will be eating together tonight.”

“Carry me?” I laughed at the visual that came to mind. How ridiculous! Just how much snow was going to fall anyway? Maybe it wasn’t going to be that bad. I pulled out my mobile phone to check the weather. 20 centimeters of snow? “Well, according to this, you definitely would be carrying me home with the amount of snow that’s going to fall.” I had to think for a moment… dinner at his house? That’s a huge leap, but Hideki had proven himself to be nothing but a gentleman. Why couldn’t I trust him enough to just feed me and keep me warm from the snow? “Okay, deal. You can make us dinner. You better be good.”

He did a little shake to get accumulating snow off of him. “Don’t you worry. I may live by myself, but I do know how to put food together…. or at least order in.”

“Aha, I knew it!” I pointed at him, laughing. “Who is it, KFC or pizza?”

As we made our way to the Sobu line entrance, he finally admitted. “Okay, I guess I like the occasional KFC delivery. And pizza.” He looked at me curiously. “But for you, tonight I will cook.”

I gave him a tilted smile. “I could actually go for some KFC. Let’s just make life easier, don’t you think? At least for tonight. Really, I don’t mind…”

In a way I had a feeling Hideki was grateful for my practicality. In the same token, maybe he wanted to show off some of his skills. I was incredibly curious about how he lived. So many areas of how he appeared to the world were so inconsistent with his work as a programmer. It was wrong to think like that, but it was odd that he wasn’t socially inept or awkward. Maybe his apartment was slovenly, that could explain it best. We hopped on the train and talked about what we wanted from KFC. He also gave me a brief about his apartment. So he wasn’t slovenly, at least according to him. As he had told me before, he lived simply in a small one-bedroom apartment with no pets. He liked cats, but there were times when he had to travel for long periods of time and he wouldn’t have anyone to look after a pet.

True to his word, fifteen minutes after we got on the train, we got off at Ryogoku station. My nervousness started to kick in knowing we were so close to his apartment. We talked about random things as we walked to his place: some songs he’d heard recently, herbs plants that I recently purchased in order to cook at home, a drunk guy sitting on the corner near a school… it was completely random and absolutely wonderful. I found myself walking a little closer to him than I realized, brushing against him unintentionally even though he consciously gave me room to move. After a few minutes, he gave up on that chivalrous move and welcomed the contact. After some circuitous moves through the side streets, we ended up at a well-kept but nondescript five-story building.

“Here it is,” he announced, key in hand. We took the elevator up to the top floor and got out, arriving at his apartment, number 505. “Please… welcome to my home.”

“Thanks…” I replied with a smile, entering and removing my coat and paltry shoes at the entrance. My poor feet were cold and a little wet. “Would you mind if I used your bathroom? My feet–”

Hideki was already two steps ahead of me. Before removing his coat, he opened up a nearby sliding closet and handed me a towel to dry my feet. “What’s that saying in Spanish? ‘Mi casa es su casa’?”

I chuckled, graciously taking the towel and disappearing into his bathroom. Hideki was moving around the apartment doing something, but no matter. I looked in mirror, happy to see my face and hair were okay. The bathroom was rather simple and no-frills. He had an all-in-one washer/dryer unit, a common staple in the space-saving Japan. The tub/shower was to the left behind another closed door, which was rather small from all appearances. I dried my feet and carefully refolded the towel, placing it on top of the washer.

As I exited the bathroom, I saw Hideki looking out of his 5th floor window onto the heavily snowed streets. It looked like a blizzard was on the way, winds gusting strongly. He appeared to be quite pensive, his handsome face drawn into a serious look.

“Looks like it’s getting pretty serious out there,” I commented, approaching him. He turned to face me, and there it was, that smile that caused my heart to do a double-step. “I don’t think they’re going to deliver in this weather. It’s way too dangerous.”

Hideki chuckled. “Exactly why I said I’ll cook. Sit,” he said, gesturing to his leather loveseat, “relax for a bit while I make us something. Want some tea?”

Those were magic words! I drank tea all day long at work. “Sure, that’d be nice.” At once he disappeared into his alcove kitchen on the right. “Are you sure you don’t want some help…”

His head popped out through “ramen” printed noren curtains. “Olivia… don’t worry about a thing. Just relax.”

“Okay…”

Until the quiet hit, I hadn’t noticed the soft jazz playing in the room. I smiled, realizing who was playing. Billie… oh I had a soft spot for the good stuff. I could hear some pans rustling in the kitchen and the sound of the opening and closing refrigerator, but my mind had tuned into the music. I stretched out on the sofa, pulling a green throw blanket over my still cold feet, then gave Hideki’s apartment a once over. It was utterly simple and surprisingly clean. His walls were adorned with a couple of autographed rock posters, bands I’d never heard of. On another wall were a couple of pictures of him and his friends in New York, and another of two women embracing each other. They looked like mother and daughter.

“Hey, Hideki,” I called out. “Is the picture on the wall of your family?”

Once again, he peeked out, his hands moist from his prep work. “Oh that picture,” he acknowledged, nodding to the photo. “Yeah, that’s my sister Yumi on the right and my mom on the left.”

“Yumi… your little sister?” He nodded. “She is very pretty.”

“You two would probably get along really well. Actually both you and Yuki’s sister would get along with her.” He paused for a moment, disappearing back into the kitchen. I heard him washing his hands, and moments later, he came out with two large cups of tea. “Here you go.”

He sat next to me on the sofa and handed me a cup. I couldn’t help but look at Hideki. His solid frame warmed me with his proximity, that masculine scent flooding my senses. I looked away for a minute, only to look back and realize he was staring at me too. What did he see when he looked at me?

“I hope you like pasta,” he said hopefully. “Are you allergic to anything?”

I shook my head. I ate pretty much anything. “No, not at all. Pasta sounds nice.”

Suddenly, Hideki tucked a hand under my knees to stretch my legs out on his. I gasped softly, but didn’t protest at the motion. We stared at each other for a long moment, started to smile, then both of us broke into laughter. It was hard to even understand why we laughed, but we did. He put down his tea and started massaging my feet, just out of nowhere. His hands had just the right amount of pressure, making me shut my eyes, lean back and sigh.

“God, that feels good,” I whispered in English. “I can’t remember the last time…” And in that one thought, my body stiffened, because I did remember the last time anyone had massaged me. Hideki must have felt the sudden tension race through me. He stopped his ministrations, reverantly holding one foot in his hands.

“Olivia,” he started resolutely, “I think it’s time that you clued me in to why you react the way you do when I do certain things. I know you were just enjoying that…” He gave me that look, the knowing one that still managed to have a wealth of patience.

I sat fully upright, bringing my knees to my chest. I was a little fearful of revealing what had happened, but it was overdue. “Okay, Hideki… I’ll tell you.”

He paused me a moment to turn off the stove, but returned quickly to hear what I had to say. So I told him everything. It was hard not to get emotional about it, and I started to tear up a bit, but in a way, I was proud of myself that I could recount it without completely breaking down. At that point, it just seemed like a horrible nightmare. Hideki didn’t say anything, just listened. I saw flashes of anger cross his face, then sadness. At the end, I quieted and took a sip of my cold tea waiting for his reaction. He leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes for a moment. He swallowed carefully, then took a deep breath.

“Everything makes sense now,” he breathed. He resumed his foot massage, looking at me with newer insight. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. That is not how a man should treat his lady. That was unforgivable.

“I was raised very differently. Men take care of their women, treat them with respect and love… the love they deserve,” he explained softly. “I said that when we first met and you didn’t think yourself deserving of love. How do you feel about it now?”

Blink. I wasn’t expecting that question again. In truth, I hadn’t given it much thought. “I don’t know, Hideki, maybe…”

He smiled a little. “Well, it’s an improvement from last time around. But seriously,” he said, releasing my foot to caress my cheek, “you have to know your own value, Olivia. No one else can tell you that.”

His thumb brushed against the swell of my cheek. I knew he was gazing at my lips, but he held himself back.

“Hey, are you still hungry?”

I nodded, my stomach growling unceremoniously. I could feel the residual warmth of his hand against my skin he left to prepare two plates of food. Quick as ever, he returned, handing me my plate. His creation did look tasty. It was grilled chicken (which I guessed he had already done) penne with basil pesto and cherry tomatoes. He had grated some fresh Parmesan over the top. I took a bite and was surprised by the spicyness.

“I hope it’s not too hot. I tend to like spicy food,” he admitted after taking a biteful.

“No, I like spicy stuff. It tastes really good actually. My compliments to the chef,” I jibed, smiling at him.

We ate in companionable silence, every once in a while making comments about the food. The room felt warmer with the auto-heater going, so Hideki removed his hoodie, revealing a printed blue t-shirt underneath. I looked at him with some curiosity, probably not the kind I should have been considering… or should I?

With the food finished, I stood to look outside again. The weather was conspiring against me, it seemed. This kind of snow was unnatural for Tokyo and I had the distinct feeling I wasn’t going anywhere that night.

“Um, Hideki…?”

“What’s up?” he asked, washing dishes in the kitchen.

“Would you mind if I stayed here tonight? It is looking rather impossible outside.” It was a question I actually felt comfortable asking, which meant I was starting to trust him.

He came out and put his hands on my shoulders reassuringly. “Of course you can. What kind of person would I be if I sent you out into a storm?”

I smiled. An impulse overtook me; I leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks. You are a great guy… but I’m sure you already know that.”

Hideki looked shocked that I had kissed him of my own volition. “My head isn’t that big, Olivia. I’m just me… but thank you all the same.”

I was curious about something with him. “A question for you… How is it that you are so gentle and so insightful? Why are you so accepting? It’s probably a dumb question but–”

“Not dumb,” he replied, shaking his head. “I’ve developed this way because I had to. I took care of my mother when my father left for a younger woman… and I took care of my sister when her boyfriend abused her.”

Hideki frowned, the first one I’d seen grace his face since I met him. He moved into his small bedroom and I followed. “I’m sorry, Hideki. I didn’t mean to bring back…” I paused when he handed me a couple of pictures from inside his desk.

“The first one is my entire family before the divorce. We looked pretty happy,” he said softly, sitting on the edge of his Western-style bed. “Then my father started spending more and more time out, leaving my mother crying all the time. I was fifteen at the time, and I could only do so much to help her. I felt rather helpless then.”

He paused, looking up at me. The look on his face made me feel sad. I couldn’t do anything but listen to his story.

“I went to work right away to support them both. All the money my father had just disappeared into thin air,” he explained. “Then about five years later, Yumi met the guy in the second picture.”

I flipped to the next one and saw his sister and a good-looking Japanese guy joking around in the street. They looked like they were happy in this one too.

“He seemed like a nice guy at first; I’d even hung out with them on many occasions. I had no idea about his mean streak. Yumi used to tell me he was like a light switch, nice in one moment and completely evil in the next.” As if the weight of his words were affecting him physically, he stretched out on the bed. Part of me wanted to offer him some solace and stretch out next to him, but I remained in the entryway.

“They were together for four years, and it was only when I noticed some bruises on Yumi’s neck that I suspected anything. She was so afraid of him, too afraid to tell her big brother what was going on.” He turned to one side and looked at me. “That bastard had been hurting my sister all this time. I refused to stand by and let it continue.”

I put the pictures down on his desk and finally sat beside him. I had a feeling I knew what was coming and I reached to hold his hand.

“Yumi finally told me the entire story and then I told her to call him so that we could all meet. When he came, I warned him that he was never to set eyes on my sister again, and he laughed,” he said angrily, shaking his head. “Laughed. Can you believe that? But he underestimated me, Olivia. He didn’t know that I was a black belt. I beat him so badly that the police arrested me for assault. He ended up confessing to what he had done, and they dropped the charges against me. But I promised myself then that no woman in my life, friend or lover, would be treated that way and get away with it.”

Teardrops fell down my face, but he brushed them away with a fingertip. Hideki was truly one of a kind, I thought. It was no wonder he said the things he said. “How is your sister now?”

The anger was replaced with a smile. “That was years ago now, but she has recovered for the most part. She has her bad days, but we talk all the time. She’s even got a new boyfriend, but she always runs him by me first,” he chuckled. “So you see, Olivia, I understand. But I also think you should give yourself a chance to see that things can be different.”

“… with you?” I couldn’t help myself.

Hideki grinned at the question. “Are you trying to set me up?” I laughed at his response. He sat up to look directly at me, reaching to cradle my face in his hands. I felt the heat rapidly rising from my neck higher into my cheeks. Decisively, he leaned in and gave me a brief, honest kiss. “Of course, with me.”

I was overjoyed to hear his honesty, the sincerity of his words. He patiently  watched me, fingers threading into my hair from the nape of my neck.

“Its no secret that I’d like to be with you, Olivia,” he breathed. “You fascinate me like no woman I’ve ever met. Being in your presence is like a breath of fresh air.”

I didn’t know what to think. Hideki hadn’t made any moves until now, and even this was tame and respectful. He was waiting for me to decide. “Hideki…”

My eyes closed to half-mast and my lips parted slightly. My choice, I thought. I pressed a finger against his lips and he drew the tip into his mouth. He ran his rough tongue over and immediately I was slammed with desire. I shivered with the sensation and pulled my finger away.

“I’m doing my best to trust you, Hideki,” I whispered, “So don’t hurt me, okay?”

“Olivia, I would never hurt you, that I can promise with no reservations,” he promised wholeheartedly. “You can trust me.”

Pause. I took a deep breath and bit the bullet. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed my body against his, our breath mingling. I gave him a tentative kiss, then something deeper, my lips parting to tango with his tongue. He held me closely, responding in kind with soft caresses on my back and a willingness to play with our kisses. He tasted of his skillfully prepared meal and pungent manhood. It felt like we were kissing forever, and it would have been fine by me. Hideki was a skillful kisser, gentle and moist, rough in the moment and sensual in the extreme. We fell back onto the bed, Hideki urging me on top of him instead of the other way around. His hands gripped my hips, tightly pressed against his arousal.

“You feel so good,” he said softly. I pressed my hands to his chest, then lowered to press my body to his. Hideki held my gaze. “Whenever you want to stop, just tell me.”

My hair fell forward to curtain us tightly. I was so caught up in the sensation, the feel and scent of his body, that stopping hadn’t even occurred to me. “I don’t think I want to stop, Hideki,” I said huskily.

He smiled, using one hand to lower my head to his lips for another intense kiss. Before I realized, my hand slipped under his t-shirt to touch his bare skin. Hideki helped things along by briefly sitting up to remove his shirt. He was lightly muscled and sparsely haired. His skin seemed so pale against mine; it was something I hadn’t considered until now. It was an arousing contrast of tone.

“You’re so warm,” I commented, nuzzling my lips and cheek against his heart. Racing, I thought as I listened. I ran a tongue over the crest of his nipple and was rewarded with a shudder and a groan. “And you smell so good…”

Unable to take it anymore, he reached for the buttons on my shirt and began disrobing me. I slight pang of nervousness hit me, but I immediately tempered it. At once, my torso was exposed save my bra; even that wasn’t barrier enough for Hideki. He held me gently, burying his face in my bosom, pressing soft kisses to the swell of my breasts. My body was melting, and for the first time in ages, I felt a wetness between my legs that was hard to ignore.

“Hideki…”

He looked up at me, then skillfully unlatched my bra, allowing my breasts to fall free. “So beautiful,” I heard him whisper, my nipple disappearing into his mouth. I jumped, then held him close. He ought not dare to stop; it felt so good. He took his time, giving equal attention to both nubs. I threaded my left hand through his unruly hair, unconsciously gripping him and moaning at the building sensations. My core clenched, feeling empty and blazing with a need to be filled. My hand went to his waist to unbuckle his pants, and he released me.

His breath caught as I saw the whites of his underwear. “Olivia, be careful there… I’m already about to explode,” he warned, hissing as I brushed one finger over the tip of his exposed penis. “Liv… I…”

I adjusted myself so that he could remove the remainder of his clothing. He sat back on the bed fully nude, turgid manhood erect and ready.

When he looked up at me, I gave him an accepting grin. I knew what was coming and I think he knew what I wanted, but just to make sure… “Hideki, I’m burning inside. Please… fill me.”

My voice was husky, pleading for completion. I stood and let him watch me remove my pants. I slid them down my slim form, showing off my lacy panties. Immediately, he sat up and held my hips with both hands, running one over the swell of my butt. Strangely, he pressed a kiss against the small of my back, trailing them up my spine. Laughter erupted from me as he brushed against my ticklish spots.

“Aha! Something told me you were ticklish,” he said in a satisfied voice. He continued his evil motions, making me squirm.

“Hideki! Stop that,” I exclaimed, laughing. He laughed against my back, then turned me around to face him. This time, he pressed a kiss to my stomach and looped a finger through the top of my panties. The silky cloth lowered to reveal my pertly trimmed pussy. His erection bobbed up and down with excitement. I really couldn’t take it anymore.

“Please, Hideki,” I begged, watching my panties fall to the floor, “I want you inside me… now.”

Hideki licked his lips and pulled me down to straddle him again. “Your wish is my… wait.”

Before I could even ask, he crept up to the sidetable at the head of the bed and pulled out a condom.

“Good idea,” I commented with a smile.

He wasted no time, sheathing himself quickly. I looked into his eyes and for a second, it seemed he had something to say, but he held his tongue. Slowly, I lowered myself onto him, inch by agonizing inch. I was extremely tight, especially since it had been a long time since I’d had sex, but my body started adjusting quickly. He moaned, my heat surely blazing him. I seated myself to the hilt and sat still, enjoying the fullness. This felt so right, so complete.

Hideki reached for my hands and threaded our fingers. I leaned onto him, skin against skin, and began to move. We kissed intensely, sensually, and in that moment, I knew we were making love. My emotions were spiralling out of control as he held me closely, bending his knees slightly to angle our contact better. Trickles of sweat beaded and drifted down my temple and my spine, the pungent smell of sex filling the air. I breathed him in, each thrust, every groan, even the incoherent mumbling he made against my ear. Deep inside, I felt that telltale throbbing that I was close, very close to coming.

“Hideki…” I cried, burying my face into his neck just as quickly.

“Let go, Olivia,” he urged, caressing my butt cheek. He surged into me deep then, forcing my breath to catch in my throat. “Its okay…”

I lifted my head to look at him briefly. His eyes glistened, expectant. The tightness of holding back could no longer be tempered; I gripped his hands tightly and let go. I shivered with the rush, my lips parted to release a lustly scream. I felt my walls clamping him, throbbing. Hideki shifted, his eyes narrowing as I could feel him close. My orgasm went on for what seemed like forever and when I stopped shuddering, his erratic thrusts started a second one.

“I…” he whispered, gripping my hips to thrust a little harder. “Close…”

He arched upward with one final thrust, releasing all the built up tension inside him. His breath was heavy as he visibly shook with the power of his release. I draped myself over him and he wrapped both arms around me. No words were necessary really; I felt truly sated for the first time in years. In Hideki’s arms, I found something wonderful.

The chill of the room hit my bare skin, so we shifted into a spooning position, pulling the covers over us.

He kissed the top of my head. “So…”

“Hm?” I inquired wordlessly.

“This does mean you’re my girl, right?” he asked facetiously. He looped his arm around my waist to gently cup my breast. He lazily played with my nipple which strangely never lost its erectness.

I laughed at his silly question, playfully smacking his enveloping leg. Of course I was his girl. Was I ready for it? For Hideki, for me, I was definitely going to try.